Chicken: Who makes these art boats? POST #3 Lost Vegas this Saturday night at CELL SPACE

So this boat project has a General. Her name is Swoon. Swoon is a redhead. Inside and out. She’s very sweet for a rotten task master. She’s miss Cut ‘n Clip. She makes things with giant sheets of paper and a scissors and lots, and lots of time. He work is stunning. She wheat pastes it hither and fro. You have seen her work. Yes, you have. You just didn’t know. Now ya know.

Callie piehole


Swoon greeen lady

These images are everywhere. All over the globe. In every industrial area, there are her figures, minding their own business. People love them. Look at the comments on Flickr. Her work hangs in the Smithsonian. But hey, they gave me a liquor licence. So whatever. She has kinda arrived. Only to find there isn’t really much there. So she sorta came back.




The boats are 2 things: form and function. All things are. Swoon is the form. I’m the function. Well, me and a small army of others. To us, most of the time art is what we keep hitting our fucking heads on. The art is in our way. The art is picking up wind and fighting us. It’s true comedy, that we are annoyed by the part that is the reason there is the function part. We make it go. They make it pretty. It’s kinda a meathead way of looking at it. But there it is. We eat cheeseburgers. They’re mostly vegans. We drink, listen to Led Zepplin when we work and get filthy dirty like greasy grimy gopher guts. They get paint on themselves and on their baggy Bagdad pants and their sweaters with giant cowl necks that are all warped out of shape because they are made of hemp and unicorn snot. You got your art school kids and you got the gearheads that make bad decisions. The Odd Couple times 20.

foam building boat

tipsy rig

mzb hangin

There are more of the art people then the motor people. So we are always losing the battle. But we win the war. We fake breakdowns whenever we wanna go swimming or stay somewhere another day to hang out with that girl or whatever. One of the pencil and paper girls asked me once if we could make the motors better. Ya know, so they wouldn’t break down all the time and need constant attention. I told her, if we did that… they they wouldn’t need mechanics. And if they didn’t need the mechanics, they would kick us off the trip. And if we weren’t going on the trip, why would we spends months building the engines? That same day she tried to get some outboards to get rid of us, once and for all. It’s amazing how that same vibe at Burning Man is in all of these large scale art projects. I don’t blame her for wanting to find some freedom from machines. I feel that way often. As for wanting to get away from me, she’d miss me the moment I was gone. They all do.

chicken china hat

chick trailer circus

chick drive bus grapes

We’re all beyond that crap now. The boat project is going to crash the Beinalle and secure our place in the annals of history as the best bad idea gone too far ever. For me, a circus with no talent going on tour for 5 years is a warm-up act for what we are about to do. But the thing you gotta understand is that when you’re at sea (the fucking OCEAN) on a vessel that YOU made out of garbage… there is a satisfaction to it that is inexplicable. Not knowing that this freedom was being denied me makes it all even more mind-blowing. I can’t imagine now what it would be like to not know what it means to build a fucking sea-going SHIP our of some bullshit. I can simply not recommend it enough. I’m totally into the whole build a boat outta bullshit and do a show and travel to places that you can not pronounce or spell. Sign me up. I’ll make the engines purr and twist balloon animals and do whatever it takes. They are there right now. The rest of the crew, building. I’ve stayed here to fundraise and since I already spent 3 months building the motors… I’ve only got so much time… Well. I’ll be there soon enough. A little Chicken John goes a long, long way…


photo by Tod Seelie

Have I invited you to the fundraiser that’s happening this Saturday? Your gonna love it. It’s Lost Vegas. It’s a casino. A broken, fucked-up casino.

bicycle slot machine

photo by Scott Beale

You buy a bag of chips at the door. $2 a bag, 3 for $5 10 for $10. You place bets on bizarre and absurd games. You win big! You cash out your chips for valuable prizes like Ritual Coffee or other stuff. There is a Short Duration Marriage Booth, a Secret Back room (with Mark Growden Trio and the Wink and Yoni Show!), a few musical acts, a special contortionist, The Cheese Puffs and Sparkle Motion dance troupes and at midnight, Otto Von Danger will jump the Ramp of Death on his motorcycle over 20 naked chicks!!!!!!!!! For real or 100 times your money back!!!!!!
This Saturday at CELL Space. 9:00. All proceeds collected go towards making the boat project work. All the performers are donating their time, and the bar staff is even thowing the tip jar in the mix! Everyone wants to see this happen and it’s really amazing to watch it all come together. If you don’t already know, we lost $50,000 of our funding when a gallery went under or whatever they call that… Thank you for passing this on…

Here is the Facebook Page for info

Lost Vegas
Saturday April 11th 9:00PM
Cell Space 2050 Bryant Street SF 94110


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