Shoot bottle rockets at me on Saturday night…

This Saturday I’m performing at NIMBY For the How to Destroy the Universe show along with my old pals The ART of BLEEDING (LA Cacophony). I’ll be doing 1 Karaoke song. I’m gonna sing: “Come Sail Away” by Styx. In a sailor suit. The song is 6 minutes long. I’ve got 400 bottle rockets for sale for $10 each. Who’s in?



You Paypal me $10, you get a photograph of the bottle rocket with your name sharpied on it, and a video of me getting pummeled by (up to) 400 Bottle Rockets. (here is the event:

At midnight, I’m gonna walk on stage in my sailor suit and grab the mike and go to war. Because that’s what it takes to fund-raise for the arts in April of 2009. I mean really, it’s what people want. And ya gotta give people what they want. People wanna shoot bottle rockets at me, while I sing Styx. You can do it too, by proxy.


Photo by the awsome Tod Seelie

All proceeds go to bridging the funding gap for the Swimming Cities project, crashing the Bianalle with junk boats and all… I’ve been concentrating my efforts paying off debts the project incurred over the last few months, but time now grows short and I don’t even have a ticket. (hint hint, anyone have miles they wanna donate? I have a bunch on Virgin…) I have done totally great. The project is ON! There are 25 people there right now, building. They don’t need me yet, they have to build the art stuff. I don’t do that. When they are done, I put the motors on and deal with steering and stuff. I work around the art. I know, stupid. That’s the deal.

Picture 2

Photo by the sexy and talented Tod Seelie

I need to be there by the first week of May. I’m working my ass off, but it woudn’t be a giant, stupid mess art project if I didn’t come up with an absurd fundraising stragey.

So here it is.

Buy a bottle rocket. Or a few. Buy one for your friend, who I threw out of the bar that time. Buy one for that girl that I stood up. Buy one for Jim Mason. Actually, buy a dozen for ol’ Jimmy. Make me jump. Put welts on my arms. Catch what’s left of my hair on fire. Hurt me. Make me sorry. For $10, you’ve never had it so easy.

Picture 3

Photo by that guy, Tod Seelie

Fundraising. Oh boy!

Please pass this on to anyone you think may find it amuzing. Or anyone who would like to spend $10 singe-ing me.


2 Responses

  1. […] trip to Slovenia for Swimming Cities of Serenissima , Chicken John is offering people the chance to shoot a bottle rockets at him as he takes the stage in a sailor suit to sing “Come Sail Away” by Styx during the Art […]

  2. I just started a blog and this page was a recommended link. Pretty fuckin hilarious considering I didn’t mention anything about the Jabbers or GG or Chicken John. How did it know?

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