I don’t accept or give excuses…

I just don’t wanna hear one more person say they can’t build a boat.


cardboard 1

cardboard 5



Cardboard Boats

These boats are made outta cardboard, some caulk, some ducktape and glue. In this coffee powered city of over-acheiver, I refuse to belive my ears when I hear people say: “I don’t know how to build a boat.” Duh. Did you think I knew how to build a boat when I built this?:

Picture 5

Camp Tipsy is now less than a month away. The prizes for competition are as follows:

****Top dog!
 Worst implementation of worst design

****Sloppy seconds!
 Worst implementation

****Third rail!
 Worst design

****Fourth dimention!
 Boat most likely to kill pilot

****Fifth Avenue!
 Boat most likely to get pilot laid

****Sixth sense!
 Boat most likely to sink, but doesn’t

****Seventh heaven!
 Boat least like a boat

****Last place!
 Least effort put forth

This event is the one that finally gives people an opportunity to fail to win. Aren’t you tired of the know it all genius’ that surround us getting all the attention? In SF, we’ve got the best and the brightest artists and engineers and they run ramshot over our events and provide for us giant Tesla coils and steam powered pancake makers, giant robots that jerk off and fire spewing yoni art cars that run on puppies. You can’t compete!

Now you can. You seal up a few old guitars and paddle to glory. The genius’ can’t think like idiots. This is OUR turn, to take it all back. Let them come with their fancy pantz boat that runs on granulated McDonalds napkins. Someone is gonna figger out that all ya need is a few milk crates and some dodge balls and you’ve got a boat. Packing peanuts. You can fill up garbage bags with air and throw some foamcore on it and it’s a boat. Paddle away with a loaf of Italian bread. And win.

You don’t have to build to come to Camp Tipsy. You can just go and watch. That’s fine. But I don’t wanna hear anyone else say “I can’t build a boat.”.

“To dream, the impossible dream”
(this is a dramataztion montage of your boat sinking in slow motion…)
“To fight, the unbeatable foe”…..

Camp Tipsy competition date is Saturday August 1st. We’ll be there the weekend before and all week. Don’t miss it.


One Response

  1. That was a nice read

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